Do you know the feeling of having sandpaper being rubbed into your brain? The resulting effect is a massive head-ache, eyes burning because your brain is trying to apply logic and the movie is fighting back furiously to not allow that to happen. No? Never had the feeling? Consider yourself lucky then. Bear my pain with me now.

STORY and SCREENPLAY – The story of Kaabil is pretty simple and is presented in a very linear format. There are the good guys, there are the bad guys. Bad guys harm the good guys, good guy takes revenge. You reach the end of your popcorn bucket thinking what the hell happened. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the movie. That said, the presentation of the story is so linear that there is no intensity. The dialogues were punching my face with exposition over and over again and telling and re-telling obvious facts as if the audience is a new born baby. The dialogues are sometimes so crude that you wish you hadn’t come with your family and why wouldn’t you? The movie has a UA rating. Just a little trivia. 4 minutes of movie-time is dedicated to talking about sex and not in a mature manner. It felt like the kind of conversation 10th standard kids would have after watching porn. The next moment the dialogues are like cotton candy and the to and fro keeps going on and on. If you Google the names of the dialogue writer, Sanjay Masoom and Vijay Kumar Mishra. Then these complaints will look justified. I am regretting not Googling it myself before getting into the theatre.

DIRECTION – Sanjay Gupta is the man behind Korean rip-offs. He sucks every bit of intensity from all those movies and all that is left is jelly. He keeps building up the first half of this movie with such a fluff tone so when the tragedy occured, it really hit me. I wasn’t expecting it to come so soon and just as I was trying to reconcile with the character, the movie ventures into comedy!? Comedy?! Ok, tell me this. No, don’t even tell me but just process it in your brain. Are songs really necessary? There are 4 minute songs after every 20 minutes and a total of 5 songs. That means 20 minutes of movie-time, wasted. 20 minutes that could have been use to build character, establish the setting and let the movie simmer before letting it boil. Here they just put the movie into full blast through and through and then interjected it with sudden pit stops. As I was mentioning earlier, there is a moment where the movie takes a dark turn. There was a small window of opportunity. Things could have gone great from there onward, but nope. Due to all this, none of the characters were fleshed out properly. What was the bad guys’ M.O to hurt these two blind people? Just because he is bad and I have to consider he is bad? How the hell does Rohan all of a certain become Marvel’s Daredevil without any combat training, whatsoever. Oh yeah, because it is played by Hrithik Roshan. If 20 minutes were utilised in showcasing Rohan’s body-building or practising martial arts instead of ball-room dancing, it would have added way more context to his actions afterwards. Well, I am saying this so it sounds stupid but think about it.

CINEMATOGRAPHY and EDITING – Here you can see the two killers of this movie. Let’s start with the cinematography. In the first few minutes, when Supriya and Rohan meet in a cafe, they are kept at the extreme right of the screen. More than 50% of the screen is unoccupied and I am staring at a lamp. The contrast was so high that I couldn’t even look at the screen properly sometimes. When the contrast met with horrid CGI, I suffered a minor cardiac arrest. I think per scene they used 20 camera angles. Ayananka Bose & Sudeep Chatterjee, great job. Then they told the editor to just go crazy.
Now, the editor. Oof! Akiv Ali. He was confused or very high on drugs. Judging by his bio, it looks like he clearly was high on drugs. There is no other explanation to such editing.

ACTING – The first few minutes Hrithik Roshan and Yami Gautam are bearable. Even though the dialogues are painful to hear, it is bearable but then Hrithik just loses it. He keeps swaying between Aryan(Dhoom 2) and Krishna(Krrish). There was no subtlety in his performance. It was clear that he was trying to do a lot but it wasn’t coming off very well. Rohit Roy was doing what he has been doing since Shootout at Lokhandwala. Ronit Roy and Narendra Jha were the pick of the lot. They were bearable throughout the movie and that is not something I’d say very easily when I’m talking about a movie like this. Girish Kulkarni is going to be stereotyped as the prick. He is good at it but it’s not good for someone who has such acting capabilities to get stereotyped. Especially now when many types of movies are getting made.

FINAL VERDICT – It’s very courageous of the director to keep the movie at 2hr and 19 minutes. Really, it takes a lot of confidence to make such a movie and also keep the run-time at over 2 hours. Certainly, give it a pass if you want to save your senses. If my final verdict is offensive to the differently abled, then I am really sorry but this is not worth anyone’s time. I am not going to sugar-coat this in any way but just give it a pass. If you’re a Hrithik fan, wait for it to come on the DVD so that you have the power to skip.

Personal note : To the BJP movie reviewer who preached to the people to go watch Kaabil instead of Raees. Now I know why you wanted us to go watch Kaabil. It was not because of the controversy regarding Raees. It was because you hate people in general and you genuinely wanted us to suffer.

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If you’ve read the above warning then you’ve been warned. If you haven’t watched the movie then don’t look here. You’ve been warned.
Here I’ll be talking about some major gripes I have about this movie. I am not going to spend more time by making a Spoiler filled review, so here it is.
Supriya and Rohan get separated in the mall and there is this over-dramatic scene about them finding each other. Later we get to know that Rohan had a mobile, when he asks for the cop’s number.
Next, Supriya gets raped. It’s a very sensitive issue. Then there is an ITEM NUMBER!? Really?
Supriya commits suicide. No investigation is done. No postmortem. She goes straight into the fire. Just for argument’s sake, Rohan could have murdered Supriya. The police officer was asshole enough to call two blind people frauds but doesn’t even investigate the suicide? Is this a joke.
LAST ONE, because if I talk any more about this movie I’ll certainly go mad. The goons have serious teleportation powers. They come to disturb the couple and when they call out for help, they are nowhere in the frame. Same happens in the garage fight. Again when Ronit Roy kicks the door, the garage blows up and you can clearly see the periphery of the explosion and he is bloody standing somewhere else. The blast should have killed him too and the movie would have ended there but teleportation skills, man. Rad.

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