Before you start hyperventilating and bring out your Thesaurus to term me with something which will help you soothe your conscience, give it a read.

Let me first tell you what triggered this rant. It is an everyday thing which I witness and even you might have witnessed. Men peeing on the sides of the streets. Very normal. I usually pass these people by saying “Lage Raho!” so that if they have a bit of conscience then they will understand, but today I saw a policeman peeing on the streets. Not in some corner of the street or behind a dumpster but in full view in front of the street. It was the street behind Siliguri Girls’ High School and behind Dinobandhu Manch. There was a huge group of police officers around that place because some idiot was going to give a speech later in the day and this sub-group had 5 policemen and one of them broke out of the group and straight off pulled his dick out and started emptying his bladder. You will be asking in your head that,”Why are you ranting here? Why didn’t you do something about it?”. Well to that I’ll say, I’ll come back to that later. I will, I promise.

This happened yesterday in Kolkata. I was sitting in the S9 bus from Jadavpur and in front me was a girl, in her mid 20’s. Mobile in one hand and a paper packet full of muri on the other hand. After having finished that, she went to the window and threw out the packet and went back to talking in her phone as if nothing had happened. You might be thinking she might have been from a rural part of Kolkata and has no idea about ethics and hygiene. Sorry to disappoint you but she is one of us. She had a smart-phone and was fluently talking in English, swiping through her Facebook feed. You’re thinking again right that why didn’t I do anything? I’ll come back to that.

Another incident, that usually happens is when I go to watch movies in theatres and someone casually starts talking on the phone and when I oppose, they react as if I am the one who is wrong. As if I have done some huge offence by telling him/her to not talk in the theatre because I have obviously paid 150/- to hear his/her melodious voice and not a movie. Right?

Now, if you know me personally and still that question came to your mind that why didn’t I do anything then you don’t know me personally because, those who know me personally knows that I have a penchant for protesting in public. So, in the 1st case, I stood in the street and asked,”Kya kar rahe ho, Sir?(What are you doing, Sir?)”. I was pointing at the policeman who was peeing on the street and then I pointed at the people on the streets passing by and the group of policemen just told me,”Aage badho, chalte raho(Keep walking)”. In the 2nd case, I said,”Ma’am, why did you throw the packet outside on the pavement, there’s a dustbin right there”. She said,”Mind your own business”. Then I said,”Cleanliness of my country is my business”.
As soon as those last words came out of my mouth, every other person in the bus pounced on me saying that I don’t have the manners to talk to a girl, someone yelled ‘misogynist’ and that’s how the cookie crumbled.

So now you might be coming up with another argument that instead of ranting on the laptop, why don’t I do something about it? Right? Fuck that argument of yours because I don’t give a fuck. Legitimately speaking, I don’t have to give a fuck because I do my part right. I keep my garbage in my bag or in my pocket and throw it away when I see a dustbin. I have great bladder control and a sense of hygiene and I can proudly say I have never peed on a wall or in an alley or into an open drain. So my conscience is clear. I try to stop a policeman and I am ushered away. I criticise a girl for littering, I get called a misogynist. I stop a person from talking in the hall, I get termed as a nuisance. All these people who I try to stop aren’t people from the village or uneducated or unethical. It is you. People with the same educational or professional background as you. People who re-tweet “Swacch Bharat Abhiyaan rocks” and then litters. People who can read “Put your phone in vibrate” but then starts talking about the poop he/she had that morning. To all these people, FUCK YOU! Fuck you if you have done all that and then have the balls to call someone anti-Indian because they went to see a movie of Fawad Khan or Ali Zafar or listened to a song of Atif Aslam. Fuck you, if you look don’t believe in equality and think criticising a woman for the wrong thing is being misogynistic. Don’t practise what you can’t even preach honestly. If littering, peeing and talking in the movie-halls are “Being Indian” then be so. Don’t come to the social networking sites and promote “Digital India” after that. It’s just petty.

I am sure your ultimate argument will be that where is the proof of all that has happened. To that I’ll say, I am just one guy. I don’t have limitless money. I don’t know the laws of recording in public. If I shoot a policeman peeing, my mobile might be seized or smashed into pieces and I don’t have endless money that I’ll buy another and start shooting again. If you want to sponsor me by giving me some official pass, be my guest. I promise that even if I get beaten up while recording that, I will record it because the news channels and politicians live in a different India and if you have invested your belief solely on what they say, then I feel sorry. Until then, my only suggestion is stop this hypocrisy. Stop lying to yourself and to others. Stop others if you have the authority. If you want to bring change, then stop being hypocritical or if you are hypocritical, then stop calling yourself an Indian.