So, I have assembled the worst of the worst. No it’s not some kinda Suicide Squad. It’s a list of movies that I hated while watching, after watching and according to me has little or no cinematic value. This list mainly consists of movies that boasted of big budgets, huge stars and widespread promotions. You won’t find Feigbusters in this list because for me that movie does not exist. Call me sexist, racist and any kind of -ist but the reason why I don’t consider that movie a movie because the cast, the producers, the directors don’t have any respect for the fans or the original cast or anything in general. So if you don’t give respect, you ain’t getting any either. Like I mentioned in my Top 10 Best list, this is just my view. If you agree then we can shake on it, if you don’t then also we can shake on it but with less enthusiasm in it.
I haven’t seen all the movies that bombed in the box-office and these are from the ones I have seen. Now that I think of it, I actually went to see most of the movies in this list in the theatre. Wow. That’s sad. Anyway, let’s the start the list.
#10 – Gods of Egypt – What an abomination. It had Gerard Butler, Nicolaj Coster-Waldau, Chadwick Boseman and Geoffrey Rush. It’s directed by the director of Crow and I, Robot. What happened?? It had awful CGI, bucketful of over-acting and a plot that’ll make you hit your head on the wall. Probably should have put this movie higher on my list.
#9 – Mirzya – ROM of Rang De Basanti and Bhaag Milkha Bhaag fame, delivers a massive kick to the balls with this one. This movie launched two pieces of wood, Anil Kapoor’s son and the niece of Tanvi Azmi. It was apparently written by the great Gulzar. The plot was vaguely familiar but was presented in the most BORING way possible. People were leaving the theatre after 30 minutes, it was that bad. I went to the extent of asking for my money back, but considering what little money this movie made, it’s better if they keep it. They need it much more than I do.
#8 – Batman V Superman – I am very sad to put this on my list because I was honestly very excited when this was announced. I am not kidding one bit. I honestly didn’t wanted to be disappointed with this movie but I came out of the theatre angry and frustrated. An over-convoluted plot punctured by plot-holes, a coked up impression of Jim Carrey, a 15 minute fight which gets overlapped by a CGI monster, shoehorning the upcoming Justice League movies made this outing of Zack Snyder an abysmal miss. Well, at-least it gave us a great Batman and Wonder Woman, right?
#7 – Shivaay – Gosh! This movie should have been called “Self-Glorification”, but as religion sells in India, why not call it Shivaay and not put in anything remotely connected to the mythology. Over the top actions overpower everything else which could have made it a good movie. The only good thing about this movie is the soundtrack and nothing else.
#6 – Ae Dil Hai Mushkil – Another sad entry to my list because it has one of my favourite actor, Ranbir Kapoor. Why does he choose to be in movies like this is beyond me. Karan Johar makes a fine display of how outdated he is. A copy-paste 1st half and a generic 2nd half makes this one hell of a puke-worthy movie. I nearly puked after watching this movie. True Story.
#5 – Befikre – A hat-trick by Bollywood with a movie that doled out video after video about the making of the movie, the “fun” they had and Aditya Chopra’s return to the director’s chair. My advice to Aditya Chopra is to stick to production, we are done with these unrealistic plots, thank you. Ranveer Singh brings all his off-screen antiques to make a character as irritating as Jar Jar Binks and a dull, bored come-back by Vaani Kapoor almost made me want to slap her and say “ACT! PLEASE!”
#4 – Mohenjo Daro – Woah! Another Bollywood movie? Like I mentioned, this list has movies by directors who are masters of the movies they have made and actors whose movies you can go to just on the basis of their name. Asutosh Gowariker provides a fantastical story about his perception of Mohenjo Daro and telling anyone (even historians) who dared question him about historical accuracy. Hrithik Roshan wastes some years of his life by investing in this movie. So sad. Well at least they are rich right?
#3 – Rustom – After winning both the box-office and the critics with Airlift, hopes were high on this Akshay Kumar movie. The set design looked cheap, the acting felt way over-the-top. Oh! They even tried to rip off “12 Angry Men”. The audacity. The producer later came and apologised for over-looking the factual inaccuracies in the movie and you know what the movie is like when the producer is apologising to the audience. Absolute rubbish.
#2 – Suicide Squad – The 3rd entry to DCEU had all the right stuff and then as the release date came closer, all the wrong stuff started surfacing. Soon after the critical miss of BvS, WB went into panic and started major re-shoots for the movie. When the movie came out it was a mess tone-wise, plot-wise and such shoddy editing. The music was jarring and distracting. The hyped up Joker scenes fell flat and almost unnecessary. Margot Robbie shone through all this shit.
Some dishonourable mentions. They deserved to be on this list but fell a bit short. That doesn’t make them any better than the ones on the list though. Here they are-
Te3n, Sultan, Flying Jatt, Cafe Society, Warcraft, Now You See Me 2, The Legend of Tarzan, Jason Bourne, Batman:The Killing Joke.
Now #1 – Saheb Bibi Golam – The atrocity that this movie is cannot be put into words. Still, I will try. This gained the number one spot because the director of this movie is a movie critic himself. He bashes good movies and writes awesome reviews for utter shit, so I was really eager to see whether all he says has some substance or it’s as shitty as his material. Well, I wasn’t surprised. This movie had some out-of-the-world unrealistic plot, unbelievably unrealistic characters. Pritam D. Gupta tried to do some stylised editing and camera-work but what good is it? I am not sugar-coating this:- Pritam D.Gupta, just don’t come close to a script, stick to your review writing.
With this I close my Top 10 lists for 2016. As I haven’t seen all the movies of 2016, I’ll review them when I watch them. 2017 looks good with all the comic book movies and reboots of my beloved movies, but you never know which one might take a massive dump on you. Cheers.