Befikre. Holy poop on a stick splattered on the big screen. Now that should have been the tagline of the movie. A 2 and a half hour long, or less, or more(I don’t care) absolute cringe-fest. Aditya Chopra’s return to the director’s chair, Vaani Kapoor’s return to acting(if you dare to call that acting) and Ranveer’s first ever collaboration with his Guru was hyped up so much even before the trailers came out, that I was thinking that it was going to be another classic like Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi or Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. Oh, the disappointment. Before starting this, I would like to wholeheartedly apologise to my favourite stand-up comedians Kanan, Kenny, Biswa, Naveen and all those whose videos I have watched and laughed, for such a cringe-worthy portrayal of such a difficult but fun job.

DIRECTIONKaha shuru karu. Pehle shot se shuru karta hu. This has to be the most uninspired movie I have ever seen. You don’t expect this from Aditya Chopra. Somebody joked that it looked like the movie had been made by Uday Chopra. Now that I think of it, Uday Baba wanted to get into direction. The scene where Dharam(Ranveer) enters his new apartment does create a doubt that whether this movie has been directed by Uday Baba or Aditya. Like I mentioned before, it’s a cringe-fest. There is scene after scene after scene which makes no sense, is incoherent and unrealistic to the point of puking. Ranveer and Aditya went on a rant saying that this movie is them being Befikre of all the norms of the society and being care-free. They went to the extent of being so care-free that they forgot that they are making a movie and not a cringe-compilation for YouTube. Or maybe they were. Who knows? Every director from the 90’s should just be banned from portraying today’s generation. According to every director, today’s generation = SEX, BOOZE, PARTY, LOT’S of money by doing some easy job. Sir, that’s the recipe for a Honey Singh video, not a mainstream movie!!

SCRIPT – Script? Tell me if you find one.

CINEMATOGRAPHY – Same old, run-of-the-mill, glossy, tilted camera shots. Indoor shots and outdoor shots are so, so bland and tasteless. In a scene where Dharam is following Shyra(Vaani) and Shyra is explaining the various tourist spots Dharam keeps comparing them to places in Delhi. It actually felt like strolling through any other place. I mean if you’ve chosen to shoot in PARIS, then show it properly instead of using some stock footage coupled with a few songs. If you can’t then just shoot it in Delhi and save the effort of boasting that the movie is about love and is shot in the city of love.

ACTING – AAHA! AAAHA! AAaaha! Oh no, I am not praising the acting. That is 50% of Ranveer’s lines in the movie. I am a huge fan of Ranveer. I loved his acting in Band Baaja Baarat, LvsRB, Lootera, Ram-leela and DDD but, then he does movies like Gunday and Kill/Dil and Bajirao Mastani and now THIS! In this movie he overdoes everything. Except for a scene which come 46 minutes into the movie. It last for 2 minutes and then poof! Gone. On top of that he is given lame dialogues, lame characterisation. I mean he is a stand-up comedian and his punch-lines are as flat as Vaani Kapoor’s chest. ooooooh! Now that I’ve explained Vaani’s sex-appeal, let me describe her acting. It was drier than the Sahara desert. You think that joke was bad? Go watch Befikre.

FINAL VERDICT – Just don’t watch it. If you’ve reached here, then I think that you’ve understood by now that I will tell you to not to watch it. If someone dares you to watch and that too without pressing the skip button then I wish you all the best. Store it in your tools for torture(If you have one. I have one) to use it on your enemies.